Sunday, September 11, 2011

do you remember when we first met? i sure do...

kyle & i circa 2005 when we starting spending time together
you should know that i'm actually starting to write this before i plan to post it. quite a few months before, actually. but my reasoning for this is because i know that on september 11, 2011, i will still be with kyle j. dyer. withoutadoubt. today is july 3.

on a recent beach trip with a lot of my extended family, my aunt dianne asked me how long kyle and i had been together. "almost 6 years," i said. later in the day as i sat in a semi-circle with dianne and her sister, another aunt, angie, she brought this up again. she told her husband, my uncle gary, that kyle and i had been together that long and he said "it feels like longer." my response? "sometimes it does feel like longer, and then other times it feels like 2 days." angie smiled and said "that's how it's supposed to feel." i couldn't agree more.

when kyle and i first began dating (back in 2005. dear. god.), i was a ripe 16. six.teen. a baby. i'm not even sure i could drive yet, and if i could i'd probably had my license like 3 days. i was still wearing a lot of pink and plastic jewelry. when we first kissed, we were in my pool. and one of our earliest dates was at the wayne county fair, where i can remember what both of us wore down to the rubber, multi-colored bracelets on my wrist.

i'll never understand how or why kyle walked into my life when he did, but i'm so glad he did. i was in a pretty dark place at the time, and there is no other explanation for him being there when he was than it was god's plan for us. simply meant to be. i can't explain why he randomly walked out of the same restaurant i was going into with my friends, or how he ended up being invited over to my house to swim and then go bowling, but he did and he was and the next thing i knew i was riding in his car around wayne and singing miranda lambert in the car with the windows down, like we'd been doing that our whole lives. (and we still do that, by the way.)

during my senior year, i had paul martin (my first cousin's husband's step-dad) for marshall english 101, a class students could take for a college credit while still in high school. in one of our assignments, i wrote about kyle. i really don't remember what the assignment even called for, possibly a descriptive memory or something, but i remember writing about all of these things we had experienced together just a few months before. i remember mr. martin marked that he liked the part about us singing in the car even when we didn't know the words. i remember that i made a good grade on it. and i remember that was the first time i'd ever opened up like that on paper. kyle was unknowingly opening up my closed-off heart and i was learning who i was again.

i know there are a lot of cliches about love out there. there are certainly a lot of hallmark cards that i do not want to be associated with. but — some of it is true for me. my eyes really do light up when he comes in the room, no one really makes me laugh like he does and i really do get butterflies when he holds my hand. six. years. later.

we can be honest with each other and not feel ashamed of anything. i try my best to understand what his crinkled brow means, and i know that he jokes with me because he wants me to laugh. he is always there, opening his heart, listening to mine. 

right now we are really trying to figure out what's next for us. where should we live? what jobs will we get? how will we make it financially? having faith that all of these things will work out is hard sometimes, but having each other really helps. and i'm trying to have an open mind to whatever happens, because honestly, if he's there, i know i'll be fine.

we still go on dates. we still get so tickled we can't breathe. we still stay up late and watch movies and eat ice cream. we still drive around with the windows down and the radio up. we still hold hands.

wherever we end up or whatever we end up doing, i'm excited to continue this crazy life with kyle.

here's to the next adventure.


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