Sunday, January 1, 2012

setting myself up

i've never really been one for making resolutions. i usually just make one up when someone asks me what mine is — "what's your new year's resolution, kayla?!" ... " more organized...?" but for some reason, this year, i'm feeling it. i made a list. i have ideas and ambitions and determination to just be better.

so here it is. my list. i might fail, i might suck. whatever. hopefully, 2012 brings a lot of great things.

live healthier
doesn't everyone make this a part of their resolution? i think so. i really do hope to live a better/healthier life this year and hopefully forever. but that is not to say that i'm never going to drink another peanut butter fudge milkshake from cook out, because i definitely will. i just hope to be more aware of what kyle and i are eating and doing — but when it's snowing outside and we miss our families, i hope we don't feel bad about eating a giant bowl of ice cream while we sit in the dark and watch Bravo for 3 hours.

create more
some days, i literally feel overwhelmed with all of the ideas i have. there are so many things i want to do and create, but somehow, i usually find myself freaking out about which thing to do, then i just don't do anything. serious. problem. so i'm going to try to create something new at least once a week. whether it's a handmade necklace or a new piece of wall art for our house, i hope to just do something great.

start planning our wedding
for goodness sake, no one freak out about this. we've been together for almost 6 1/2 years, people. so i just figure, while we're saving up for our dream wedding/honeymoon/life together, i can be getting ahead of the game. and i don't mean just pinning stuff on pinterest and forgetting about it. i want to really start getting our ideas in order, because it's fun to talk about these things with kyle (yes he has a say-so and actually gives a crap) and gives us something to be excited about and look forward to.

get a bike
i've wanted a new bike for a couple of years now. we live in a little place that i could actually ride one now, so i want to make this a priority, especially when the spring rolls around. pink cruiser with a basket please.

plant a garden
groceries are expensive, especially produce. so i would love to plant a few vegetables and herbs at our house. we have enough porch and yard space for some pots and things, i think. it'll save us money and it's just generally better for everyone.

start running
i pretty much hate running in all its forms — jogging, treadmill, running to the car to get out of the rain, etc. but, after someone invented the couch to 5k plan, where you basically run as little as possible in the beginning to slowly work your way up to be able to run a 5k, i decided to give it a try. i think this will be a good way to alternate between workouts so i don't get burned out on one thing. hopefully, i'm not regretting this when kyle and i actually start it. (crosses fingers)

write more letters
love sending and receiving mail and i know most other people do, too. so i am going to try to send more letters to my friends, family, and basically anyone else who gives me their address. that isn't supposed to sound creepy.

learn to take a compliment
i think this will be one of the hardest items on the list to accomplish. i suck at this. basically, every time someone gives me a compliment it goes something like this:
"hey, kayla! your hair looks so pretty/i love that dress you're wearing!"
"oh...thanks...i haven't washed it today/it only cost like $10...(awkward smile)..."
i'm sure it has something to do with confidence in myself. so hopefully, i can ease into a simple "thank you!" rather than forcing everyone within a mile radius of me to feel increasingly weird.

learn to be patient
another one of the hardest self-assigned tasks to complete. i am really not very patient at all. as soon as someone going too slow gets in front of me in traffic, then i am the most angry i've ever been and the world sucks. (i'm exaggerating, but you get the idea.)

travel more
i know i've been to italy and all, but i really haven't been that many different places. i want to see everything and everywhere. obviously that isn't possible, but i would at least like to rack up some more visited states.

pay off my credit cards
this will suck and be so hard and annoying and stressful, because when i want to buy a new dress, i'll think to myself "this could be a credit card payment," and then sadly sulk out of the store and just settle with a latte. but, it will be so worth it when everything is paid off.

update my blog
i've been tinkering with the idea of changing up the look/content of my blog for sometime now, so i would really love to seriously sit down with myself and figure out what i want. i am so flattered when people stop me to say "hey, i read your blog today!"so i would love to continue with trying to write interesting things for everyone, and for myself.

read a book a week
i have so many books on the shelf that i have bought but never opened, and there are more wonderful books being written all the time. it's impossible to ever be totally caught up, but i would like to at least try. a book a week seems totally reasonable for me, and think of how much more well-rounded i'll be afterward. kidding. but seriously.

be more organized
another thing i suck at is organization. kyle is so good at it, but to me, it is just overwhelming sometimes. pile of clothes on the bed that haven't been folded? no big deal. i can see them and know where everything is and just jerk them out of the pile as i need them. however, this isn't very becoming or realistic when you're an adult. so i hope to just be more organized/less cluttered in my day to day.

write more
i'm a journalist, for pete's sake. i should be writing all the time. i should have way more of the journals filled up than i do. i should be writing creative stories when i think of them, rather than watching another episode of friends and then forgetting what the idea was when it's over. so here's to more journal entries, more blog posts and more stories.

i want to do something good for someone else, and stop worrying about myself so much. when you live alone or with your person, it's easy to get caught up in your own little world. i'm not sure what i want to do yet, but kyle and i definitely need to find someone or a cause to reach out to. any ideas?

be more thoughtful
this sort of goes along with the previous goal. i need to stop thinking about myself so much, and think about others — kyle, my friends, my family, strangers even. i need to think more about how my actions make others feel.

drink more water
i'm a diet pop addict. i honestly blame my mother (sorry, mom). i used to drink diet coke with my cereal in the morning before school. yes, it's calorie-free, but still. when i've been cleaning for a couple of hours and find myself extremely thirsty, i shouldn't automatically need a coke zero. i should need a glass of water. no, i'm not going to stop drinking coke zero, probably ever, but i think i should at least limit the amount of pop, iced tea and coffee that i'm drinking. i'm sure my skin will thank me.

read my bible/pray more
this is a toughy. i have never been one to read my bible very much. i pray every night and morning, and when anyone i know is traveling i pray for safety. but i know i should read a lot more and not make prayer a routine. when i'm ticked off about the traffic (see "learn to be patient"), i should probably say a little prayer instead of a little cuss word.

love deeper
my 9 year-old cousin, kaitlyn, giggled when i read this one off to her from my list. she said "what? you don't love me?" i jokingly squeezed her really hard and said "yes i love you! but i want to love you more! like, i want to love you so much it hurts!" she laughed and looked at me like i had three heads. but in all seriousness, i really do want to love more. i love my friends and family and kyle so much it does hurt sometimes, but i want to love deeper. if that doesn't make sense, i'm sorry. it didn't to kaitlyn, either.

there it is. my list of self-assigned goals for the upcoming year. i have probably set myself up for some serious failure/embarrassment , but i think it will at least give me some motivation to be better. i don't know if you have written your own list, but if you have, good luck. if not, good luck anyway. i have good feelings about 2012. i hope those feelings are right.

happy new year, everyone.


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