g.e.m.

gladys ethel marsh.

my granny was always such a fun gal. she lived her life like it was a big party and she was just lucky to get invited. she was witty, honest and freaking hilarious. she went on cruises and swam in clear waters and drank champagne, and she was always dressed in her best.

her jewelry collection was huge, filled with pieces that came from everywhere from home shopping network to ones passed down to her from her mother. no matter where they were from, they all added glam to her outfits. all of the pieces she has passed to me, my sister and my two cousins, becca and katie, all mean a lot to us because they were hers. and whether she was dressed in her everyday clothes or ready for a cruise cocktail hour, you can bet your last cigarette that she could turn heads.

i feel like she did so much when she was alive, half of which i know i'm not even aware. she worked at Owen-Illinois Glass Company for years, and played on a winning bowling league, and at some point purchased an old video camera, because my brother discovered about 30 old, silent home videos and a projector with a screen in her attic. and he figured out how to get it to work, and we watched some of them. it was like we were watching her life. 

i wore one of granny's brooches in my hair on friday, and another one on my belt on saturday. taylor, becca, kaitlyn and i all carried some of her old handkerchiefs on saturday. taylor wore a pair of granny's earrings. becca and katie wore necklaces she had given them. my mother wore one of her old dresses.

the services and everything were so draining and long. and such a blur. like i was in some sort of coma and woke up later. on the way back to tennessee, i realized that i had unknowingly picked my fingernails to bits and have hangnails that are so sore that it hurts to even type this, and i've rubbed my eyes so much that they hurt, and i have a very persistent headache that i'm only just becoming aware of.

it makes me sad to think about what i won't be able to share with her now. although her spirit will be there, she won't physically be there to see me get married, or becca's first prom dress, or casey's graduation. i realize that most people don't even get to share anything with their great-grandparents, but i did and there's always a part of you that thinks these people will just be with you forever.

as much as my family and i are grieving, when it comes down to it, all that really matters is whether you laughed a lot and were loved. i did and i was because of her and the other women in my family. i am just lucky to have had someone like her in my life at all. i'll miss her wit, her glam, and her laughter. 

here's to her memory. have a glass of champagne.

love.

krq.