almost after

maybe i'm feeling brave because i'm about to run/walk my first 5K this weekend. maybe it's because i just painted my nails and rather like them. who can say? but i feel like posting a little "before & almost after."

a little over a year ago, it finally clicked that i probably should take care of myself. i'm not sure exactly what made that happen, but i'm thankful that it did. i started drinking Visalus, watched what i ate and began exercising pretty vigorously with the program, TurboFire, which if you don't know what that is, you should totally check it out. sometimes i feel like nothing is happening and i'm just busting my ass and waking up so sore that i can't walk for nothing. but recently i was looking through old photos and saw myself and was like "do i really look like that?" no, actually. not really. not anymore.


so here are some photos, more just to prove to myself that i should keep going.

face.

the first photo is from thanksgiving a couple of years ago. the second one is from last month when my siblings came to visit.

gams.

the first photo is from october of 2010. the second one is from this past easter.

and this photo is from yesterday. it's a new dress that ruby bought for me on jcrew clearance. it's a size medium. but what is important about this one is that i have a collarbone. who knew?

maybe you don't see that much of a difference, but i do. and i feel different than i did a year ago, that's for sure. i'm not where i want to be yet, and i'm trying really hard not to use cliche words like "journey" and "lifestyle change" in this situation, but all of that is true for me, too. i'm also not trying to be like "look at me how awesome i am," because sometimes i feel quite the opposite. just like millions of other people, i grew up thinking in the "diet" mindset, so when i would go on one and not lose 10 pound in 5 minutes like it said i would, i would feel frustrated. like i'd failed. like i couldn't do it, and sometimes i still feel that way. but finally, at 23, i'm getting that i should just take care of myself forever and if i eat a reese cup, not want to bash my head up against a wall afterwards, just run a little extra later. i'm just doing the best i can, and i guess looking through old pictures made me see that it's not for nothing. i hope you will appreciate my honesty here, because talking about this is not something that's ever been easy for me. i'm working on it.


tomorrow is my first 5K, and several of my friends will be there with me! i think most of them signed up out of peer pressure, but it will be fun running/walking together. i'm sure christopher will whip us all. show off. jk. kinda. i'll be sure to post about that next week.


have a beautiful weekend, people.


love.
krq.